I Can't

Hello readers,

I don't know if I have mentioned it before, but my passion is gardening and I absolutely love growing plants. I have been tending to my own garden more diligently this summer. I am a happy girl when I am in the yard. In my back yard there is a patio with a fire pit in the center. When I decided to landscape the perimeter of the patio I didn't draw plans or even have a plan in my head. I really just dug some holes and started planting. I often can't see the big picture because I am so focused on what I am seeing in the here and now.

There are some people who can conjure up these grandiose ideas and actually make them happen. My dad is like that. He can look at a house in total destruction and envision the final remodel/project. I kinda wish I had inherited that from him, but I didn't. Anyway, I often overwhelm myself with thoughts and ideas that I would like to try to implement. I am limited by my abilities to do some of my extraordinary plans and that really frustrates me. What frustrates me even more than my inability are the unfinished projects I have.

I can garden and not break the bank, I can move furniture around and create a "new" space, I can make little improvements around the house, but what I cannot do is work on my own car. Call me crazy, but I am in love with my 1991 BMW convertible. It was my first and only car so far. I love cars but this one has a special place in my heart. This love of mine is broken! It is a very sad situation. I have a great mechanic who rebuilt it when I first got it and now it needs a new motor. It has been four months in the shop and no work has been done. The parts I need can't be found.

Most people would just say good riddance and move on with a new or newer car. I am having a really hard time with that thought. If I could I would fix it myself, but I can't. So now I am having to car shop. Car shopping is great. I love cars! The only problem is that I know exactly what I want and can't afford it right now. The words "I can't" are the absolute worst! One of my favorite scripture passages is Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Although Paul the apostle wasn't referring to making car payments in this text, I have to remember that in these times that I think I can't do something I have the strength to do things I need to. I have the strength and ability to work. I have a God who I rely on to show me how this time in my life is supposed to draw me closer to Him. And I CAN have patience. Good things come to those who wait right?